There is always an unspoken rivalry between a child's parent and grandparent, especially between mother and paternal grandmother. Grandmothers often think that their daughter-in-law is controlling everything between them and the grandchild like how much time they spend with each other and what they talk to each other.
However, in most cases it is not true. Every parent has a specific notion about how they should bring up their child and most of the times it may not be in agreement with the grandparents’ values. Usually parents of young children try to discipline them by having specific bed time, meal times and studying hours. Grandparents are more relaxed and while living their own life on their own pace they do not expect their grandchildren to do the same.
If a grandparent respects the wishes of the parents and makes the grandchild do everything as per their parents' wishes, then there would be no hard feelings actually. Usually no child can be influenced to listen or not to listen to their grandparent. Every child has a mind of their own and they know to judge their own relationships well. So even if your daughter-in-law asks your grandchild not to speak to you, he or she will still do it. If they do not talk when the mother is around, they will do it behind her back. Also, instead of thinking the daughter-in-law is being selfish, the grandparent should try to think from the parent’s perspective.
Even if your daughter-in-law is putting your grandchild against you, make sure you spend time with your grandchild. Do not get hurt with your grandchild says to you. Just make sure your love is there for the child to see. Sooner or later the child will realize that his or her mother was wrong and that you love him or her selflessly.
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